Shadows - A Lesson From Abby

Most of you know how blessed Jason and I have been. Abby started sleeping through the night consistently at about 6-8 weeks of age. Life was back to normal, so when the princess wakes up in the middle of the night, we know that something is wrong. Well, last night, we had our Sunday School class over like we do every Wednesday night. Of course, Abby didn't get into bed until later than usual (somewhere around 9:30). Jason patiently took her in her room and rocked her to sleep because we knew there was no way we could just lay her down with all the noise from our guests.

He said that she was dozing in his arms when she popped her head up and saw their shadows on the wall. Apparently, the shadows scared her some. Jason turned on the lamp in her room and she went to sleep with no problems. Well, at about 11:30 last night, we heard her crying. I let her whimper for a few minutes and then went in to comfort her. She snuggled into my shoulder and went back to sleep; all was well.

This morning, Jason and I were talking about it, and we figure that she either had a night terror or she saw the shadows again and became scared.

I was sitting at the table thinking about it, and I realized that there was an amazing lesson in that. Remember Psalm 23 - "Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me"? I'm scared of shadows too. I've often been characterized as one who is afraid of her own shadow.

But really, what power do shadows have? None! I know that they indicate that there is something there, but often they are much bigger than the real thing, and in order to have a shadow you must always have light! Christ is the light of the world, and we have no need to fear the shadow if we remember the light!

I heard David Gallamore at Rock Springs in Easley say one time that he would rather be hit by the shadow of the bus than by the bus itself. That stuck with me. Shadows may seem scary, but they really aren't.

It's amazing what a cry in the night can help me remember.

A book worth reading

I have to share with you a book that I recently found called The Shack. It is absolutely incredible. The head of humanities at North Greenville recommended it, but I hadn't picked it up because with a one year old, who has time to really sit down and read for pleasure.

I finally broke down and bought it on Amazon, and started reading on Thursday. I was finished by Sunday night. That is quite a feat considering that Abby's birthday party and the fourth of July all happened in that span of time.

I'll briefly recap it for you - without giving away the plot of course.

Mack's young daughter is kidnapped and murdered at a shack in the wilderness. Mack receives a note from God asking him to come to the shack for a weekend meeting with him. Mack is reluctant but finally goes and meets God.

I know it sounds strange; I was skeptical at first, but it turned out to be one of the most amazing books I've read in a long time! Please take the time to pick it up and read. If any of you have read it, please share your thoughts.

Small and Mighty

Abby went to the doctor yesterday for her one year checkup. It's amazing how much she's grown in a year and even more amazing still how small she really is. She weighed in at 14lbs 14oz. For those of you who don't have children (or for those of you who are like me and have no idea what a one year old is supposed to weigh) Abby is at .5% on the growth charts. Let me put that in perspective for you since I've always had problems with numbers. 95.5% of children a year old are bigger than my Abby. She was in the 15% for her height. In other words, Abby's going to be short and small. Dr. Anderson said that he doesn't want to "fatten her up" and make her someone she isn't.

With all of her personality, I think she'll be able to handle being small. She screamed and screamed at Dr. Anderson as he poked and prodded her. He took it in stride. I guess after you've been practicing pediatrics for 40 years, nothing much bothers you.

When it came time for shots, I thought I was prepared. We've done shots before. Two nurses walked in the room, one with shots in hand, the other prepared for a choke hold. They gave Abby a shot in her leg; no problem. Then one nurse bear hugged her while the other gave her a shot in one arm. I was okay, tears and all until I saw how much Abby was bleeding. I lost it then. It is a good thing my mom was with me. She kept saying, "It's okay, Alicia. She's just mad they're holding her." I cried.

After a shot in each arm and a blue plastic dinosaur, things were okay. Abby hasn't fussed at all.

Maybe I'm the wimp. Good thing I'm not small like Abby.

Let Them Eat Cupcakes

Here's Abby eating her cupcake for her birthday. Please notice that I stripped her down before we set out on this endeavor.

Abby's 1st Birthday - Cake and All

Here are some pics of Abby's first birthday.


Before the cake.


Blow out the candle, Abby. She never really got the hang of blowing out the candle.


What is this wonderful thing that they are going to let me eat!


We weren't disappointed with the cake performance.


It was so worth it!!!!

I'll have more tomorrow after the big party, but for now it's off to watch fireworks!!!

One Year

Karis informed me that I need to post a reflection on the past year, and I have to agree with her. It has been an amazing and trying time. I can't honestly say that I have loved every minute of it; sometimes, it is just enough to say that I have learned from every minute of it. Jason, I'm quite sure, has learned much too. I'm remembering one instance when Abby was maybe 6 or 7 weeks old and she was crying uncontrollably. Jason was in the backyard and I was inside. Abby was crying; I was crying, and when Jason came inside (after a tearful cell phone call from me), he was almost crying.

I can laugh now, but at that moment, I was a wreck.

To say that I have learned a lot would be an understatement. I didn't know I could love another human being as much as I love little Abby Elizabeth Looper. She makes me smile, even when she frustrates me. I can't imagine sacrificing her for another human being, especially one who had wronged me. I've learned that God must really, truly care for me if He was willing to allow his only son to die on my behalf.

As I've watched Abby mature, I tell her no much more. This no is not because I don't want her to have fun or because I somehow want her to miss out, but because I see the harm when she doesn't. Somehow, I'm sounding very cliched, but God's love and compassion is coming more and more into focus.

Motherhood is hard. I won't lie. I've often thought over the last few months about the days when I could sleep as long as I wanted to in the morning, when I could just up and go without having to put a carseat in the car, when I could watch whatever I wanted to on television. Those days are gone, but the days I traded them for are so worth it.

Give your mom a hug today and tell her how much she means. She may not know how to express her love adequately to you, but I am certain she loves you more than you can know.

A recommendation

Can I just say that I love my dear friend Meredith. I haven't seen her in several years, but I feel like she is still sitting beside me in Composition Theory. This morning I have a few minutes before I have to head to Greenville for my newly found summer job, and I glanced at her blog.

I ask that you stop by there and read what she is learning. Beautiful stuff! It was like a little devotional on my computer screen.

In the kitchen this morning I was wondering if I had to describe my life in one word what would it be? I picked the word ironic because that is truly what it has been. Maybe I'll post another day about how ironic my life has turned out to be, but after reading Meredith's blog, it has been put into perspective again because all the things I view as irony, God views as specially planned and perfect. So many times in my life, I worry and stress over things that he already has worked out. I'm learning to just stand and stand.

I think about Ephesians where Paul explains putting on the whole armor of God, and he says, "Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." Ephesians 6:13 I'm certain that there are times in life (I know there have been in mine) where I do everything I know how to do, and in the end, all I can do is stand. I pray for the strength to stand.

I pray that for you today. What do you need God to do? Have you done everything? Why don't you try just standing for a moment. Let God be God, and you just stand and watch him win the battle for you.

Thanks, Meredith!