Have you ever noticed that when God convicts you of something, He often puts that conviction to the test? I have been confronted with this recently. God laid some pretty heavy conviction on me a few weeks ago about my attitude about a certain situation in my life.
I've always struggled with fitting in. In fact, I've never really fit in. I'm a nerd, plain and simple. I like talk radio and books and other nerdy tings. I've always desired to be accepted, but always wondered if I really was.
I've been facing this a lot lately, and God convicted me and told me that I needed to quit bellyaching and trust that He is my advocate. I need to clean up my speech when it comes to these things. Here's were the struggle comes in.
Today, God put me to the test, and I'm afraid I'm failing miserably. I wish I were stronger. I wish I had more willpower and that things didn't get to me, but alas, they do! I want to say nasty things and take up for myself, but God can take up for me better than I ever could.
Ever felt like you were in a competition, but you didn't know what you were competing for or when you entered said competition? Me too! I'm competing, but I don't know what for or why. I'm failing.
Maybe it's the failing that helps us win. Maybe it's the reliance that helps us not be so prideful. Maybe this is the lesson I'm to learn. I'm so hard-headed sometimes.
Maybe I'll start praying for failure so that Christ can win on my behalf.
Maybe....
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Maybe
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2 comments:
We need to talk! I know exactly where you are coming from-in fact, I struggle with so much of the same thing. I will leave you with what my preacher said this morning...stop worrying about what your image looks like and start reflecting His. Wow-what a challenge. Love you lots!
Well, I really don't even know what to say but I'll try. I struggled (still do) with something similar, I think. You were pretty vague and that's ok but I'll write a blog in response to this one. It might be the same, it might not. Even if it's not, just know that you're loved very much by many, many people and those are the people that you should want to "fit in" with. Like I said, I guess I don't really know exactly what you were meaning when you wrote this but I'll share my experience though a post. LOVE YOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!
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