Battle of the Bedtime

When does Abby want her mommy?

That's a great question and one that until tonight I didn't have an answer for.

You see, Abby is a Daddy's Girl. I've been told by numerous parents that Abby will go through stages, that she'll want me one week and Jason the next. I've not found this to be true at all.

Abby only has eyes for her Daddy. She wants to cuddle with Daddy at bedtime, and she wants Daddy to carry her everywhere. It's Daddy she wants when we're eating (something that's not such a bad deal sometimes).

Well tonight we found a time that Abby wants me.

We laid Abby down at her normal bedtime and she began chatting with herself. The conversation went something like this:

"I can't find my duckie. It's too dark in here. I think my duckie is in my room, but I can't see it. Maybe it's in the basket. Basketball. Soccer ball. Austen plays soccer..."

Then she began screaming for her daddy, of course.

We didn't do anything until we heard the pitter patter of little feet running to her door. Luckily, she can't open the door on her own yet, so she wasn't free to roam about the house.

Jason patiently went in, picked her up, consoled her, and put her back to bed.

Pitter patter again.

Jason opened the door and (in good SuperNanny style) put her back into bed.

Pitter patter again.

Open door, back into bed.

This went on several times, and on about time eight, I heard Abby say (because I was stationed outside the door as moral support), "I WANT MY MOMMY!"

So, here's the answer: Abby wants her mommy when she thinks that Daddy has betrayed her.

I feel so very loved.

Abby meeting her brother

Here's the video of Abby meeting Jake for the first time. I know the video is really dark, but Abby's comments are really what are the best. We're still saying be gentle.

Adjusting

For those of you who only follow me through my blog, I should let you know that Jake came home on Sunday. I went to the hospital for my daily visit on Friday, and being the good mother that I am, I didn't even notice that his feeding tube had been removed. I knew that something was up because the social worker from the hospital had called me Friday morning about getting Jake set up with a heart and apnea monitor for when he came home (we anticipated that would be Monday), but I just assumed he had an episode during the night and that warranted the monitor.

I was wrong.

It seems that on Friday morning, a doctor had been in the room while Jake was taking his 9:00 bottle, and she saw what an anxious eater he was and decided to forgo the protocol and advance him to all bottles. Thus his feeding tube was removed and he got to jump ahead a day.

Jason and I frantically cleaned the house Saturday morning and we went to spend the night at the hospital Saturday night with Jake. I don't suppose nesting counts once the baby has already been born, but that is definitely what we were doing.


On Sunday, Jake had to pass his carseat test. That means he sat in the carseat for an hour while hooked up to a monitor. They were making sure he could endure the ride home. He passed (obviously) and then we were discharged.

I'm posting another blog with the video of Abby meeting her baby brother. It was priceless. We had talked to her so much about him that when she was actually able to see him for the first time, she was too excited.

Here are some of the pictures from Jakes final stay in the hospital and his very happy homecoming. Now we're having to adjust to having a newborn again. I forgot how little they actually sleep! It is a sort of wonderful sleep deprivation, but don't ask me any hard questions; I don't think I could answer them if I tried.


Jake's room in the NICU. Nice TV, huh?


A sweet closeup of the baby boy.


I wanna go home, but I'm such a little boy.


What a great big sister.

Five Pounds!

Yesterday our little man weighed a whopping 5lbs. It's hard to believe that he's gained over a pound in the three weeks he's been in the hospital.

I am very happy to report that somewhere around Saturday, Jake "got it" and he's been taking his bottles like a trooper since then. We had a slight setback on Sunday night, but I'm happy to report that things are moving smoothly now.

Jason and I have to take a CPR class at the Red Cross tomorrow night (and pass it) before Jake comes home.

Let me just give you a quick rundown of our last CPR experience at the Red Cross. Before Abby came home from the hospital, we took such a class, and it was a Saturday Night Live skit waiting to happen. The instructor couldn't work the DVD player, there were three folks in the back trying to cheat on the test, our instructor couldn't hear and barked the instructions at us. I don't know that I could have actually performed CPR if I had needed to after that, but is has made for some great stories.

I'm hoping that within the next few posts, I'll be able to report that Jake is either on his way home or that he is actually here.

I've put some pictures up of our little 5 pounder. You can kind of get a perspective of his size in the picture with my hand.


Thank you again, praying friends!

One bottle, two bottles

Well, it looks like we may be in the back stretch. It seems that something clicked with Jake over the weekend, and he's started eating. He's taken all of his bottle for the past few days, so tonight at midnight (just over an hour from now), they'll try to give him another bottle. That will take him up to two bottles a day. If he does that, they'll give him three bottles a day, and then he'll get every other bottle and then he'll take a bottle at every feeding. We're very encouraged. He's alert and fussy (something that most parents don't enjoy, but we're thankful because it means he's awake).

We're praying that he'll be home very, very soon.


Some of you may wonder what this picture is. It's a picture of Abby looking at the picture book from when she was born. I've included this because when she points at a picture of herself and says, "That's me, Mommy." I know that I serve a faithful God. He brought her home to me, and now she can drive me crazy. I know the same will be said of Jake before we know it.

Maybe???

Let me start this post by saying that Jake is packing on the pounds. When we went to visit on Friday, he had gained 3oz overnight. Abby NEVER did that! She always gained an ounce or half and ounce, and she's still not up to what the average 2 and a half year old is even though she eats like a teenage boy.

Jake weighed 4lbs 11oz yesterday, down an ounce from Friday.

We were greatly encouraged yesterday because Jake took his entire bottle. We're praying fervently that he'll do the same thing today, and they'll move him up to 2 bottles a day.

On a side note, let me request prayer for another family here. In NICU 2, babies share rooms. Jake's first roommate went home earlier this week, and a set of triplets moved into the suite with him. There is one baby in the room with Jake and then the other two are in the room that adjoins his. It is essentially one big room with 4 babies in it.

Please pray for these triplets. They are all girls and were born at 29 weeks, each weighing about 2lbs. The baby in the room with Jake is doing the best; although, she still has some problems. The mother and father look very young, but they seem to be doing okay.

We'll see what today holds, and I'll be sure to let you know.

Two Quick Videos

This is a video of Abby telling us hello while we were all still in the hospital.



Here's a video of Baby Jake so that Abby can know that he's a real baby and not just a picture.

Two Weeks Old

I'm learning day to day in the NICU not to get my hopes up and to just take things as they come.

As I reported earlier, Jake took his bottle earlier this week, but he hasn't done that since. The nurses pay attention to his awareness and to how awake he is at feeding time, and they determine whether or not to try a bottle at that time. Several times he's seemed awake, but when they actually start the feeding he dozes off before he can finish.

I called last night really hopeful that he would have taken the entire bottle only to be told that he was just too sleepy to finish. I have to say that the frustration at that moment was overwhelming.

I'm still hoping that every day will get better, but it's difficult when we don't see consistent progress.

Some of you may be wondering why we're surprised by how this NICU stay is going when we already had Abby walk through the NICU. Here's the difference. When Abby was born, she never required a feeding tube, oxygen, or any special treatment of any sort. I was discharged from the hospital when she was about 4 days old, and we spent the last two nights of her NICU stay with her at the hospital. That means she was only at the hospital without us for about 4 days.

With Jake it has been completely different. He's two weeks old today, and we're still where we were.

Please pray boldly for us (we talked about this in Sunday school this week, and I've continued to think about it every day this week). Pray boldly that Jake will eat.

Jake is wearing newborn clothes (see below) and he now weighs 4lbs 7oz. He'll be the size of a normal baby when we bring him home, I think.

Abby's having a great time. She gets to spend her mornings with her grandma, and on special days like today, she gets to go to her "best friend ever"'s house and play. We have been so touched by all the offers to help us with Abby during this time. Many of you will never know how much that truly means to us. It is such a comfort to know that she is being taken care of while we are going back and forth. We are truly learning what it means to be a part of the body of Christ.


Thanks again for praying.

Baby Steps

When we went to the hospital yesterday, Jake weighed a whopping 4lbs. 6oz. We kidded him saying that he's really packing on the pounds. It's amazing to me that he now weighs an entire pound more than Abby did when she came home from the hospital. We're realizing more and more every day that Abby was a NICU superstar. For her to be as small as she was and to go home as quickly as she did, was truly amazing. I think that some of the nurses don't believe us when we tell them how well she did.

On another exciting note, Jake has now outgrown one of his preemie sleepers. Before he was born, we went on a hunt for small preemie clothes. You wouldn't think it would be as hard as it is to find preemie clothes, but not that many people need them, and they really are hard to find - at least the really, really small ones are hard to find. When I looked into his crib and saw that it was too small, I couldn't believe it. I'm going to take things that don't have feet in them now, so maybe they'll last longer.

Jake took about 20cc of his bottle yesterday, which was pretty good. We're praying for the entire bottle today. He's 36 weeks gestationally today, so maybe things will start to click soon.

Thanks for the continued prayers!

A Couple of Things

When I say that time in the NICU is a rollercoaster ride, I truly mean that. I posted yesterday that Jake had taken all of his bottle on Friday night, and we were so very excited at his progress. It was very good progress to be sure, but when we went to visit yesterday, we were told that the doctors thought it best to take Jake back to only one bottle a day instead of two. I was devastated. Luckily, the nurses in NICU are wonderful, and our nurse that day noticed I was upset and sat down to explain what was going on to us. She explained that we shouldn't look at this as a setback; instead, we should realize that Jake was probably being pushed too hard to begin with and that taking him back to one bottle a day increases his chances for success at actually taking that one bottle.

It is hard to reconcile the emotional part of me with the logical part; I know that what they are doing is best for my baby boy, but the mother in me just wants them to push and push so that he can come home. Our nurse said that we should anticipate him coming home on or around his due date (February 2) and that if he comes home before then it will be a pleasant surprise.

One of the most difficult things about NICU is that one day you can be on top of the world and the next you are discouraged because things are progressing the way you want them to.

Most everyone has told us that the light usually comes on around what would have been week 36 or 37 (a week or so from now) and that is when NICU babies usually start to eat better. We're praying it happens sooner rather than later.

Today Jake weighed 4lbs 4oz. He's really packing on the weight. He didn't take his bottle, but he did take some, so that is a good sign. He just got so tired he couldn't finish. Pray for stamina for him to finish his bottles.

Here's Jake cuddling with his daddy.



Now let me share a picture and story about Abby. The Sunday before Jake came, the preschoolers sang in church. Most of you have seen preschoolers perform in church, and you know there is always that one kid who stands in the middle of the stage and becomes the center of attention. For us, there were two of them: Abby and Naomi!

Abby just stood there and laughed and laughed her silly little laugh, and Naomi encouraged Abby to take a bow at the end of the performance. It was precious.

Progress

I have to start this post by saying that God truly does answer prayers.

Yesterday we went to visit Jake and found out that he had moved from his isolette into an open crib. He had been maintaining his body temperature really well and the doctors decided he could come out into an open crib and didn't have to have help with temperature anymore. That was a great surprise.

Then last night, I called the NICU at 3:30 in the morning because I was up, and I knew that a friend of mine from kindergarten was Jake's nurse. I asked Amy how Jake was doing and she said his temperature was good and that he ate his ENTIRE BOTTLE at midnight. Praise the Lord! It's a very, very small step, but at least now we know that he can do it. We know that this doesn't mean that he will consistently eat his bottles now, but this journey is a one-step-at-a-time journey.

I know many of you want to know how you can pray for us specifically, so I'm going to list a few very specific prayer requests below. Thank you again for praying; we're seeing God's faithfulness every day.

Prayer requests:

1. That Jake will begin to eat all of his bottles consistently.
2. That Jason and I will have the energy we need to accomplish all that must be done during the day.
3. That Satan will not be able to discourage us as we wait for Jake to come home.
4. That the doctors will have wisdom in Jake's care.
5. That Abby will not feel neglected during this time.

Thank you, friends.

The Rollercoaster Ride that is NICU

Jake finally got to formally meet his Aunt Debbie and his Nana this week. One of the hard parts of having a baby in NICU is that everyone wants to see him, but only a few people actually can. My mom had gone back to see Jake while he was in NICU 1, but she didn't hold him. This week, Debbie and my mom took me to the hospital and had the joy of holding the little fella.



Just like with every new mom, I have good days and bad days, but most days I'm not emotional because I'm terribly hormonal, I'm emotional because I desperately want to have Jake home with us. In my head I know that he is in the best place for him right now, but my heart doesn't want to hear it.

Earlier this week, I asked a nurse about Jake's feeding. Specifically, I wanted to get an idea about how long he would be there. She told me that when he takes all of the two bottles that he's supposed to take now for 48 hours, they'll up him to three bottles a day; he has to do that for 48 hours then he'll go to 4 bottles a day for 48 hours and so on until he's taking all his bottles. I was completely overwhelmed to hear that because right now we cannot get him to take one bottle and to hear that he has to do that for 2 days and then they'll increase him by a bottle means that he'll be there for at least 2 more weeks and that's if he starts eating well today.

Needless to say, Wednesday was a very discouraging day in the Looper house.

We know he will come home, but the waiting is excruiciating.

Pleae continue to pray, and I'll continue to update.

I've put one of my favorite pictures below.