The Rollercoaster Ride that is NICU

Jake finally got to formally meet his Aunt Debbie and his Nana this week. One of the hard parts of having a baby in NICU is that everyone wants to see him, but only a few people actually can. My mom had gone back to see Jake while he was in NICU 1, but she didn't hold him. This week, Debbie and my mom took me to the hospital and had the joy of holding the little fella.



Just like with every new mom, I have good days and bad days, but most days I'm not emotional because I'm terribly hormonal, I'm emotional because I desperately want to have Jake home with us. In my head I know that he is in the best place for him right now, but my heart doesn't want to hear it.

Earlier this week, I asked a nurse about Jake's feeding. Specifically, I wanted to get an idea about how long he would be there. She told me that when he takes all of the two bottles that he's supposed to take now for 48 hours, they'll up him to three bottles a day; he has to do that for 48 hours then he'll go to 4 bottles a day for 48 hours and so on until he's taking all his bottles. I was completely overwhelmed to hear that because right now we cannot get him to take one bottle and to hear that he has to do that for 2 days and then they'll increase him by a bottle means that he'll be there for at least 2 more weeks and that's if he starts eating well today.

Needless to say, Wednesday was a very discouraging day in the Looper house.

We know he will come home, but the waiting is excruiciating.

Pleae continue to pray, and I'll continue to update.

I've put one of my favorite pictures below.