On disappointments and other speed bumps in life

Hi, my name is Alicia, and I'm a control freak.

I know, I know, some of you are shaking your heads, saying, "Not Alicia, there's no way she's a control freak. She just rolls with the punches." (Let me imagine for a bit, okay; a girl can always dream).

You would be wrong, if that is indeed what you thought because I am most certainly a control freak, and there are many things in life that bring that to the forefront.

I wish there were some sort of support group you could join. Something like "Control Freaks Anonymous" or "We Want it Our Way", something like that. It might be problematic, however, since everyone would want to be president. I suppose control freaks just have their own private club with just themselves for members so they can control exactly how the group goes.

Anyway, there have been some things going on in the Looper world that have only served to heighten my sense of control. I'm realizing that maybe I'm a little OCD. Maybe I try to keep my thumb on things a little too much.

Or maybe I'm just falling apart. Who knows?

I was going to write a post titled "When Did Friendship Get To Be So Hard" and maybe I still will, but for today, at 1:35 p.m., on Wednesday, I'm left to wonder how I can keep a handle on everything.

Life is wonderful, please don't misunderstand; it's just that sometimes I can't see the forest for the trees. Sometimes I have a hard time just waiting, being still, letting God be God and me be Alicia.

That's what I'm beginning to see in the waiting: I can't control everything and that is okay. That's the way it should be.