Just Holding and Being Held

Today was my first official day back at school. Please don't get me wrong. I LOVE my job. I can say that honestly with no reserve. I really do love getting up in the morning, teaching class, laughing with my students and colleagues, and I even love reading papers.

The only tough part is that the first day back is full of meetings. It doesn't help that NGU's SACs review is coming up. The chaos is indescribable.

Anyway, after a day full of meetings, I got the call from Jason.

"What was the call," you may be wondering. Well, you see, Jason's truck (the one we bought just a month ago) had started acting up, so he took it to a mechanic because we were fairly certain that the transmission was the problem. The mechanic called and confirmed that it was indeed the transmission.

That isn't the best part.

The best part is that apparently, this isn't a new problem. That's right, someone, presumably the person we bought the truck from, knew there were problems and got it fixed just enough to get it sold. We were the suckers who bought it.

I really do feel bad for Jason because who could have known. I asked my mom, "are we responsible when someone lies." The answer obviously is NO! Unfortunately, we do have to pay sometime when people lie.

After the call, I kind of lost it.

I've been having some health problems, thyroid, ulcer, blah, blah, blah. The long and short of it is that we're going to have a GI bill soon, not the army kind of GI but the doctor kind of GI.

I'm overwhelmed.

Satan is a sneaky snake because he doesn't let us think about just the one problem, but they all crash in at the same time.

On my way home, I was listening to my good OLD Joyful Sound cd, and one of the songs says, "So just remember, when you're standing in the valley of decision and the adversary says, "Give in," just hold on. My Lord will show up. And He will take you through the fire again."

After I heard it, I thought, "God, I can't hold on. I don't have the strength."

The next song said, "Great is He who's the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords; He is wonderful."

That I can hold onto. God's character doesn't change because my circumstances change. I can hold onto that, strength or not.

I know that my posts of late have been rather depressing, but that's were I am. Just holding on and believing. Just holding and being held.